Personal Journal: Entry 1
I’m not sure who’s going to be receiving these entries. I’m not even sure when they might find their ways to your hands.... when my heart’s story finds its way to your attention. But, I just want to tell you that ever since my encounter with the Scientist, I’ve learned to adapt. Things have changed. I’ve no more need for my Encomium device - the fool it made me - so, I now and forever will write to you with my own hand.
I want to simply begin by telling you of my time in the Sanguine. Everything from my journey had accumulated to that one thing - my meeting him. Actually, everything in my life had led to that moment. From the very beginning... before my first Encomium entry... before I left Kemper... before I can even remember... I was wrong.
I was wrong about so much, and now Kemper may rest in the folly that I arrogantly led them to believe. I so wish to be there with them again, and serve them the best I now know how, so as to help aid their vision away from my follies. I wish this so much.
But, that isn’t to be my story. I must now travel west, and search for the town north of the Angean Woods. I’m not sure of its name, but that is my destination, and will be my place of service until he calls me away again.
The Scientist... Ha! It’s sad, kind of. I spent the majority of my life denying his brilliance, attempting to foil his unchangeable plans, and imply to an entire village that he was wrong. No. The Scientist was right about so many things.
I cannot urge you enough, here, that he is intentional about his plans. He isn’t running tests or experiments. No research. He has no need for them. He doesn’t call us to study us; he calls us to join in his work. His wise, good work.
Know that he did affect me. I am different, sure... as I’m confident you can probably tell in reading this. But please, see it as my free choice, openly deciding to follow this path. You know that I of all people despised him the most, and would never see him as anything but a man of error... ...but that’s just it. I wasn’t able to see. I was blind to all of the beauty that he’s encompassed in.
So, like a blind babe, lost in the open wasteland, or the dense woods, I had no idea where I was going, really, It’s not even that. I didn’t know what my options even were! I said I was going to meet him. To end him. But that’s because that is all I knew in life. I only knew incompletion. All I knew was ruin. I was the ‘Ruiner’. So, how could I have had any other path.
I was affected. My soul was broken - shattered even. The beauty in this - the end to this tragic tale - was that my soul was taken from me. Only then to be mended and given back whole.
Please, friends, please believe me that the Scientist, can make new. He can make us whole. I didn’t believe that. I fought with him, even. It took him having to cripple me and make me lame to see. To see the healing he has made for me. I now see his work around us differently. It’s not that he’s put up cameras to spy on us. Those are for us. They’re there to show us who we are. To remind us. Instead, what he’s done is he’s given us nature to spy on him, so to speak. We can escape the horrors that can so easily ensnare us in this broken world, and gaze into his unshaken beauty through the creation around us.
So, sure... I walk a bit slower, now. But that’s nothing a good staff cannot fix. And sure my handwriting is a bit shakier, too. But rest assured, my heart is full of calm and peace, to make still my weakened body. He’s stripped from me all that hindered my new journey. Even my name. I walk now to the north of the Angean. I hope that whoever you are, that the Scientist will plan for us to meet one day. Until then, friend, know. Know that you can rest. That you can lay down your masks, and stop pretending to be the hero. Know that he is not against us, here. Friend, know that he is good, and has been planning for your good, as well.
Castus, the Clear