A Mad Man's Journey: Part 3

Encomium Recording #3. q -

October 10

Day 13 of my journey

I am mad. My loathing has matured to a full out anger. I understand that my last check-in was a bit dismal, but things are different now. I've slept.. deeply. Back, enveloped in the cool, calming shade, I've retrieved my sense of freedom. That innate liberty that I was born with. With each ray of sunlight that these branches blot out, I breathe more peacefully. Knowing I am safe. I grow a bit stronger. I increase. Increase in purpose... in drive... in anger. Still, too recent is the haunting feeling of being exposed in that barren wasteland that I've just recently escaped... under the wide open gaze of the scientist.

Here, now, in the Sanguine, I'm once again received by the concealment which human individuality depends on. Here, I'm myself again. Here... I'll finally meet him. It's been him since the beginning, of what feels like a tedious fool's pursuit. He's the reason for my body's fatigue... my soul's death. And I will be telling him all of this very soon. I will be telling him of all I've surveyed about myself on this journey. Of Kimper's need for me. Of my importance. He's probably thought I'm some meaningless pawn to corrupt, and manipulate against that broken town.

HA! I've never thought of her as that: the broken town. Kimper is... well, weak. They're in need of someone to stand up for them. Teach them. Show them how to live. That's all I mean. It's the scientist that wants them to remain blind to that. Keep them clambering over one another, like new born bunnies in a nest - sightless, fatally clawing one another to death in each's attempt to simply "make it". Yes. I will tell him of these deductions very soon.

I'll also be telling him that what he thinks he saw of me was but some husk of who I am today. The sadness he might've observed of me in the barrenness has now been swallowed up. My anger far outweighs my sadness. And his scare tactics. My anger has adopted the fear that he'd tried to birth in me, and has now raised, nurtured it to be a companion to aid me here. Kimper will have its savior.

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I smell a fresh fire not too far off. It has to be his vile cabin. His “impenetrable” haven. I'll be telling him all of this very soon. That his prideful conniving had led to the destruction of my individuality, sure... to the breaking of my identity. My life. However, my weakened soul has now been convulsed back even stronger. I journey, now, through these dank, dark woods fueled by a flame of indignation, much like the fireplace nestled safely in his "untouchable" home. Only, I exude certitude instead of some repugnant smoke. He should be able to sense my new-found strength, as I smell his chimney's warm breath. I... no, he hasn't long now.

I'll admit here, that this anger - at times feeling only like a small flicker - must be kept from his foul winds. It must remain kindled. Sustained. Lighting my path with the motivation I need to struggle on. I must feed it. I must grow it.

I know he's watching. He's always watching. He does't sleep, doesn't eat... his intrusive gaze takes no break. And that is why it's my job to gain our security back. Our freedom to remain hidden, if we so desire. 

I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!! End your game of vanity and come - try and seek me, as I am now hidden again amongst the brush that you've remained elusive in for far too long now!! It is your turn to work! END THIS CHARADE!!

I know he won't, though. He can't. The frail megalomaniac is probably bed ridden by now. If not, it's only because of his unnatural contraptions and devices. His selfish plot for immortality. That's his end game; raising... no... turning me and my kinsmen into his minions. He corrupts the souls, you know - stealing them right from out the bodies - only then to turn us for the Infestation; the plaguing of the land. By now he's probably not even human anymore. Nevertheless, now... now I have my own tools to balance the field. These shadows, they, keep me concealed from his stare; allowing me to move closer and closer to his home, and catch him with little warning. I move freely and swiftly between the trunks. This darkness holds me close. Protects me. And hides my presence. It gives me back my privacy. It gives me back my strength. I am now the assassin...   ...and am in pursuit. 

Knowing that I am this much closer to winning Kimper back from his horrid grip keeps me awake. It keeps my eyelids from closing on their watchful tenants. Though, despite this strength, I am tired. But I will never give in; I will never become like him. I will never contort this vessel into some abomination just to win. I will not become unnatural. This... this difference, this dichotomy... my unique vantage is my advantage. It keeps me natural... real. It just keeps me grounded, cent...

I see it. I am here.

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Part 4

Part 2